View "The Pledge" (3.9 MB)
View "Nuclear Fallout" (38.4 MB)

Join us at www.myspace.com/apatriotsleague

Sheridan (Read)

Winthrop (Read)

Force (Read)

SHERIDAN lived a good life until his eighth birthday party. No one showed up.  To strike back, young Sheridan moved out of his family’s house and into a tent in the backyard.   During his teens he was an environmentalist and a vegan.  His parents attribute the large head that sits on his skinny body to this era. 

These days SHERIDAN splits his time between earning an honest living working at a grocery store and leading the PATRIOTS LEAGUE.  When he’s not helping an old lady with her bags he likes to take long  naps.  When he’s not holding signs that read “honk to stop the war in Iraq”, he’s visits shelters and teaches the homeless how to play video games.  He takes time out to tutor inner city kids and asks their very pretty sisters on dates.  He sings songs of patriotism in parks, reminding us that the common man still has a voice... even if it is one that votes and says, “Taylor Hicks is my American Idol.”

As he tries to unite the people on the wrong and the right side of the tracks and mend the crack in America’s Liberty Bell, he is aided by the activists in THE AMERICAN PATRIOT LEAGUE.

WINTHROP is bright.   He is well known for having a short fuse, bad aim, and being a relentless dreamer.    

He doesn’t recognize any boundaries and embodies American Manifest Destiny.  What do you get when you stick the president of the Michael Moore Fan Club with Ann Coulter’s meaner older sister? Answer: WINTHROP’s home life – a modern day Civil War that could easily challenge the carnage of the original.  WINTHROP bravely endures his parents’ separation.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, WINTHROP knows that they will never get along... but how cool would it be if the country did?

The original “Home Alone” kid, WINTHROP was always lost in the shadow of parents’ other concerns. His breakthrough came when as a precocious seven-year-old, he leaned a little too far into the zoo’s shark tank... and fell in.     Sure he was being circled by the hammerhead shark... but the zoo was being evacuated for him.  And sure his parents were not happy, but they were watching him swim with the sharks.  That’s when WINTHROP learned about the power of the spotlight when you jump into a shark tank.   

These days, WINTHROP uses every opportunity available to express his views.  His dreams of a better America are usually spot-on and full of integrity.  WINTHROP has an amazing talent for being inappropriately correct. 

WINTHROP and SHERIDAN went to the same high school but never hit it off until the freshman US history class’s “States’ Rights Debate.”   When SHERIDAN’s argument in favor of states’ rights was being torn apart by Alex “The Communist” Chang in a “You can’t handle the truth!” moment, WINTHROP came to the rescue with a dazzling improvised rendition of a song entitled, “If a State Can’t Have Rights, Why Should a Woman?”  They were only sixteen... and WINTHROP still has the battle scars from his fight with his then-girlfriend.  Ever since then, they have been each other’s only and best friend.  Though they often butt heads, WINTHROP’s imagination and gift of gab is the perfect Ying to SHERIDAN’s practicality and work ethic Yang. 

With the help of his friends, WINTHROP wants to remind us of a simpler time when protecting freedom didn’t cost $3.49/gallon, when looking at porn led to paper cuts, not computer viruses, and when all you had to do to change the world was attach a key to a kite.

He will do this with the help of the first APL recruit, FORCE...

Back to Top

Remember the kid who wore moon boots in the middle of summer? Who drank half-empty milk cartons off the cafeteria floor? Who would spend the entire recess alone, hitting a tree with a stick?

Meet FORCE – the most fearless of them all... but only because he doesn’t know any better.   The guy is all heart.  He will do anything for his friends... even run head first into a battle. Just make sure he’s going in the right direction!

Raised by a saintly hippie mother who was no stranger to smoking the sweet leaf, Force was doted upon with enough love for an entire commune. The benefit? He grew up without a cynical or sarcastic bone in his body. The catch? He may have inhaled a little too much second hand smoke – remember the tree and the stick thing? 

He’s big. He’s strong. He’s fat. He wears tight shirts with pictures of airplanes on them. He drinks three Mountain Dews for breakfast and four for lunch. If he likes you, he’ll give you a bear hug and crack two of your ribs. He’s the Joe Six-Pack who believes every commercial he sees.

Because of his good nature, FORCE has been taken advantage of... internet gambling, White Castle 30-packs, Miss Cleo... you name it.   He’s shy and he’ll do anything for approval. When the kids at high school wanted to form a band, guess who they invited to join only to carry all the equipment?  When the night manager at Kinkos wants someone to pull a double shift for no extra pay, guess who ends up standing behind the counter for the next sixteen hours?

But Force CAN be pushed too far. Pointing a finger at him will set him off.  The reason? we cant tell you.

APL is the perfect home for Force. There his powers can be used for good. WINTHROP and SHERIDAN keep him from falling into the wrong hands, and Force counts them as the only real friends he’s ever had. They’re nice to him, and don’t tease him when he has trouble reading out loud. Though he is occasionally hampered by his lack of basic social skills (and even the most remedial understanding of government), he’s the one who does the heavy lifting. AND he’s the regular guy of the group – Winthrop and Sheridan know that if he’s smiling, they’re on the right track.

Force is APL’s secret weapon. He’s an unsinkable battleship, a tank that can’t be blown up. Sure, that tank may occasionally stop by a computer terminal and blow $400 on two games of online Texas Hold-‘em, but it might also stand up at a town meeting and shock everyone with an impassioned, eloquent speech about the importance of getting kids off the streets. And then shock everyone further with a room-rocking fart.

FORCE is America. He’s got a lot of heart and tons of spirit. He’s often confused, and sometimes makes REALLY bad decisions. But at the end of the day, he’s the one you want in your corner.